Jobe+Naff

= Why Romantic Comedies Suck =

An examination of Taming of the Shrew, Something About Mary, and a genre that hasn't changes in 300 years

In "Taming of the Shrew" Lucentio plays the role of the love-struck hero who seeks to win the heart of Bianca the fair, and honest maiden. All the while Bianca's suitors such as Hortensio seek to ruin the Lucentio's chances and win Bianca for themselves. Meanwhile in "There's Something About Mary" our hero Ted plays the underdog in love with the beautiful and kind Mary, facing the challenges of outmatching her many suitors along the way. Even his initial friend Healy seeks to claim Mary for himself and make Ted's chance of victory diminish. Sound familiar? It should because romantic comedies are very simple genre of film. They will always play off similar concepts, in these to films (and many, many others) much of the plot focus's on deception of one or both of the lead (the hero and heroine most often) characters deceiving the other, or those related to the other in an attempt to win them over. This will then go horribly wrong before the plot wraps itself up normally with the two overcoming their differences. In "Taming of the Shrew" Lucentio disguises himself as a scholar in order to court her away from the other suitors. In "There's Something About Mary" Ted in an attempt to reunite with his past crush (after many years) attempts to find get close to her while suggesting they met on random chance. Deception in romantic comedies is a one of the most common themes, because it creates comedy, drama, and even a conflict to base your story around. This ease of use has allowed a genre to stay the same for centuries, and most likely centuries more to come. "You will be schoolmaster and undertake the teaching of the maid: That's your device!" (Act 1, Scene 1, 43 )

In this quote Tranio, the servant and loyal friend of master Lucentio suggests that in order to get close to his new found love Bianca, who has been forbid to leave her quarters by her fathers will, he shall disguise himself as a teacher. Now the idea is simple enough, in order to get close to someone when not allowed, just lie to them all. Of course Shakespeare over simplifies the method as he is quite famous for, yet the idea remains the same. There is love, and in it's way an obstacle. So love being more important deceit, dishonesty, and utter immorality should be used to achieve what is quite arguably a selfish desire. Now who could argue with that (even more so who could stand it for 2 some hours). This concept lacks any major intuitive thought, or creativity behind it (even for Shakespeare's time), and the reason for it's use is actually it's simplicity. Not to the viewer, although sometimes it may be, but actually for the producers. Because it's easy and generally met with not too much criticism lying is infamous amongst cheesy romances, bad mysteries, and down right awful slapstick. Yet as I've said before Shakespeare wasn't the only one to use dishonesty in his more mediocre works, so to does Hollywood.

This scene (shown at right) is shows Ted the main character being interrogated by two cops. The reason being he was arrested for supposedly being involved in an outdoor sex orgy. Although actually he stopped near it on the road, when a hitchhiker he picked up (turning out to be a serial killer) went outside and left his bag (with a chopped up body inside) in the car. Ted in turn goes out to piss trips on a person and soon gets arrested by the cops. Then this scene ensues in which the cops and him have a huge misunderstanding. The reason for this entire scene was Ted, who was still obsessed with Mary and many years set out to find her, and attempt to renew and old relationship. During the course of this travel Ted thought of several methods to convince her why he just happened to find her (as if by chance and not that he actually stalked her several states). Now while not quite a literal disguise as was Lucentio's method in Taming of the Shrew, Something About Mary leaves margin of error in terms of deceit. In fact along with Ted and just about every other character in this movie, all they do half the time is lie in an attempt to get an upper hand on each other. No different than Shakespeare if they want comedy nothing seems to beat a good old fashioned prevarication.

"Here's Lucentio, right son of the right Vincentio; That have by marriage made thy daughter mine."  (Act 15, Scene 1, ) In this quote Lucentio arrives after marrying Bianca only to see a very distressed Vincentio (his father) and Baptista (Bianca's father). Vincentio had come to visit only to see Tranio disguised as Lucentio, and believes him to have killed his son. Baptista believing a merchant disguised as Vincentio to be the real Vincentio thinks that the real Vincentio is some deranged madman. Then Lucentio shows up with Bianca to give a mild explanation of what occurred, and all was well. There was no repercussions for their actions, lying, marring without consent, and even running off to do it. In fact the only person who received the slightest level of scolding was to Tranio for fraud. This solution was just like the issue they invented a simple one. Romantic comedies feel such a need to make the show simple and strait forward that they rarely ever show the real consequences of peoples actions. For example if during this age and time someone had actually done this they would suffer chances of being disowned, punished, and possibly killed. Not forgiven, at least not right away, that would take time and a very clever tongue. This man Healy was truly just a lying, selfish, devious bastard throughout the length of the film. In fact that's exactly the way the movie portrayed him. He's like Ted if he had a sexy mustache and was four inches taller. And by the end of the film what did he suffer for his various crimes (lying, stalking, theft of property and personal information, plus fraud). Well he didn't get Mary but other then that he walked away scott free. Ted was pretty much the same maybe less of the theft and fraud but still not someone you'd honestly place as a "good guy" had the film not done so themselves. Yet of course they do, and of course him being the "good guy" can't suffer from the consequences of his actions or breaking the law, that would only make the movie realistic and nobody wants that. So in the end we find that an honest romantic comedy just must not be very efficient for comedy. Or at least not in Hollywoods eyes. No that would be too tiresome it's been shown that if Hollywood wants more easy money, bad reviews, no need intelligence, there are plenty of stories to remake, and enough bad actors, and uncreative writers to last them a century. But rest assured that movies from now to the day you die will feature this basic formula. Hero want heroine (sometimes reversed) throw in a cheap villain with a pencil mustache, a couple of "white" lies, and maybe one those occasional war crimes or murder attempts for good fun. Then you've got yourself a comedy for the month only to be lost amongst it's comrades after it leaves theaters. Don't worry however, just like we've done for 300 years since shakespeare as one bland, paper thin film comes to it's end it will be replaced by another tedious, 2d film that will be sure to blow you away.